indifference

they told me indifference was a kind of peace a smooth grey water nothing moving on it nothing to want

so i stopped choosing i let the days decide themselves i let the room pick the chair i let the silence answer for me

and it felt like calm for a while until i noticed the calm had hands

that every door left unopened was still a door someone else walked through that not deciding is a decision handed to whoever's closer

i thought i had put down the wanting but i had only put down the wheel

indifference not the absence of a choice just the choice made without me

and i would rather want and lose than be driven somewhere i never said

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